Working Mom Vs. Stay At Home Mom – Mom guilty about wanting to quit work

January 02, 2012 By: ebusinessmom Category: Work From Home Tips

Working Mom Vs. Stay At Home Mom

Are you a working mom who would like to stay at home and take care of your children? Are you sick and tired of just working to pay for daycare? Is it better for moms with young children to be a working mom vs a stay at home mom? Neither one is better because each family’s needs are different. Of course, others feel different, and there has always been an argument over which is the better mom.

Many moms are just working to pay for daycare, work clothing, gas for the car, food for work, etc. Many families with young children do not sit down in front of a piece of paper with a pen in hand, and do the math to see if they should have a working mom vs stay at home mom situation. If they would take the time to do this, then they would see how much money they are actually keeping or losing at the end of the month. Some moms are earning enough money to cover all their expenses and have more than enough money left over at the end of the month. Some moms would go crazy staying home with children and need that outside social outlet.

You know what, it’s not how much money a mom makes, but how much much money she actually gets to keep at the end of the month after deducting the expenses incurred by having that job. Again, when some families sit down and do the math, they are actually very surprised at how much they are losing instead of saving. In the video below, you will find more info on the working mom vs stay at home mom and what others think about the topic.

Working Mom Vs. Stay At Home Mom – Ask Carolyn Hax – Washington Post

Dear Carolyn: I have a job that pays me extremely well (a blessing in these times). I hate it … I have hated it for many years, but am now realizing that it is not just the place but the career. I am miserable in this job/career and am lashing out at everyone.

I am very fortunate that my husband does very well and I could stay home with our kids if I chose. But I feel guilty … why do I get to quit my job when my husband still has to work? It’s not fair that he has to work longer until retirement because I am miserable and want to quit.

But I am so miserable that I would do anything to quit. My husband and I have started to talk about it and he is (understandably) scared and overwhelmed, as am I. I guess my question is, how do I get past my guilt and feelings of unfairness? — Job Woes

Stay At Home Mom’s Work From Home And Not An Office Cubicle

Dear Job Woes: Recognize that these feelings aren’t useful to you — or to your husband right now — unless you respond to them in a constructive way. So, take them as a hint that quitting to stay home indefinitely isn’t right for you or your family, and start actively weighing alternatives.

Training for a new career? A part-time or volunteer job in a field you’d like to explore? A job hunt while you’re still employed, in a related but different field, using the skills that are apparently so valuable to your current employer? Keep talking with your husband about realistic, concrete next steps.

It’s great that you recognize the fairness issue, but you have to keep that momentum going by making sure you put yourself in your husband’s and your kids’ shoes at every decision point you reach.

Also — now that you’ve identified the source of your unhappiness, please summon the willpower not to lash out at everyone. Crappy jobs do wear down our defenses, but that’s an explanation, not an excuse, especially when you have those zeros keeping you warm at night.

Work From Home Success Story – WBTV CBS Charlotte news

Dear Carolyn: Re: Job woes: I was laid off from my well-paying job and became a stay-at-home dad while my wife, also well-paid, continued to work.

My wife and I both felt I would not be able to contribute as much to our household as when I was working. The opposite has happened. Our marriage is better, our home life is happier, and I am working just as hard as before. It is something how reduced stress can lead to a better life, even with less money. — Anonymous

Dear Anonymous: Love this, thanks.

It’s just so important that both parties invest themselves fully in their share of the responsibilities and in their respect for the other’s. I’ve seen too many stay-at-home-parent arrangements go off the rails when, for example, the working half assumes the home half is lounging around, or when the home half actually is lounging around, or when the working half decides to ditch the marriage without regard for the home half’s lost career footing, etc. If the respect for each other as equals is not there, then this “pro-family” configuration is deceptively high risk.

Read CAROLYN HAX every day in the Free Press. Write to her care of the Washington Post, Style Plus, 1150 15th St., NW, Washington, D.C. 20071 or e-mail tellme@washpost.com .

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